Carol, I totally get you!! And I am so impressed with the raw vulnerability with which you wrote this post. Often when I am feeling this way, I push it down or hide away what I think will seem like self-pity for fear people will reject me if I express it, and that will make me feel worse.
But then of course I feel worse anyway, because I’m sort of lying about who I am and where I am, and I’m alone anyway, because I’ve necessarily pushed away what might have made me feel better — connection, which comes through being courageous enough to put it out there.
You come up with no set answers and I love that too. Our lives keep going after the article ends. These feelings resurface or recede or both. Either way, we can decide to do with it what you did: bravely display with your well-written words who we are, where we are, what we think, believe, and feel. Words are miracles that way. Thanks!!